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30 June 2008 @ 05:09 pm
Such a dork. *pats self awkwardly on head*  

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Strike out the books you have no intention of ever reading, or were forced to read at school and hated.
5) Reprint this list in your own LJ so we can try and track down these people who've read 6 and force books upon them.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen Austennnn. Noooo. Read Emma and almost exploded with anger.
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien Dude dude dude TOLKIEN. Yes. Also the Hobbit - more readable, less epic. I used to know these encyclopedically, but I haven't read them in a couple of years. One of the few book-to-movie series that was actually really well done, despite the fact that Jackson didn't put in the bit where Pippin and Merry were really awesome at the end *geek rage*.
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte - This is like my favourite book freakin' ever, except for all the other ones that are my favourite books. XD Super-feminist for Victorians; also contains an excellent cathartic element in that (spoilers!) she only marries the dude once she has complete and total power over him. Now that's my kind of book. *such a dyke*
4 The Harry Potter Series - JK Rowling Uh, duh. I'm still pissed at Rowling for that FUCKING epilogue, though. What are we, three? Bitch.
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee I've read this about three hundred times, and I still love it. So Southern and fabulous. And just. GAH READ IT.
6 The Bible If I want information about Biblical allusions, I can make friends with a bookshop owner or something. I am not voluntarily piping years-tardy propaganda into my full-of-useful-things-like-porn brain.
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte I've heard awful things about this, but I'll probably end up having to read it anyway. I might like it; I'm weird like that.
8 Nineteen Eighty-Four - George Orwell Read it, was incredibly bored and then incredibly disturbed by it. I really don't get why people make such a big deal about this book.
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman Fuck yeah, son! Like the Harry Potter series with a brain.
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens I was going to read this, but . . . yeah, no. I'll probably read it at some point soon.
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott Yeah just no. 'I'm a little woman! Bopping around on the prairie! My sister and secret lesbian sex partner went tragically blind! Drama! Intrigue!' No.
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy I am not reading anything called 'Durber'. Also it's supposed to be hellishly boring.
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller I started reading this and honestly could not understand what the fuck was going on. I'll definitely try again soon, though.
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare I once had a grand ambition to read everything Shakespeare ever wrote, but then I gave up because 1) the vast majority of his work is mediocre at best and 2) the Merchant of Venice? Seriously?
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier Never heard of it. *puts on reading list*
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien Oh yeah totally! Bilbo/Gollum OTP!!11ONELEVEN!1
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks Never heard of it, again.
18 Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger I read this ages ago and loved it, but I need to read it again. J.D. Salinger is awesome, if a little rambly. (The plausible homosexuality probably increased my love of this, of course.)
19 The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger Never heard of it.
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot Heard of it, but have forgotten what it was supposed to be about.
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell God, why would I do that to myself?
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald Ehhhhn, don't really want to read this but will probably have to at some point. The title always reminds me of The Great Gilly Hopkins because I'm a dorkweasel.
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens Lolwut? 'Kay.
24 War and Peace OMAIGAWDNO.
25 The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams I read it, but really didn't get why it's so popular. As far as cult novels go, I'll take Good Omens anytime.
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh Never heard of it, but it sounds like it's about virginity or something. *puts on reading list tentatively*
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky I guess maybe? I'll probably have to read it at some point, anyways.
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck OH MY GOD I FREAKIN' LOVE THIS BOOK. So much. Kind of hard to get used to the style, but it's so good and angry and full of fire and WRATH. And biblical allusions. Ohh, gotta love them biblical allusions.
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll Smoking caterpillars. No. The movie scared the shit out of me, too.
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame Uhhhhahuhuhuh no. Just. No.
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy Ehhhhn. Sounds so Russian and deep. Hate deep things. Will probably read anyway.
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens Will probably read at some point.
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis Read these when I was a kid. Didn't flip about them like some folks did. They were okay. A little too omg-an-lion-omg-dour-worldview-omg. Also I have been permanently scarred by Neil Gaiman's freakin' White Queen/giant lion dude cunnilingus fic. I don't care what you say, man, that was fic, and it was creepy fic at that.
34 Emma - Jane Austen Oh goddd. Fucking hate this book so muuuuuuch. Why did I read this argh.
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen NO. NO AUSTEN.
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis Read it. The best of the series, honestly. I've heard some other Lewis stuff is really good, though. There's one about Eros or something? *adds to list also*
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini I haven't gotten to it yet, but I definitely plan to. Pedophilia for the win, or something.
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres Never heard of it, thus will read. Although . . . the French? *suspicious noise*
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden This book sounds sort of creepy, but I should look into it more before I strike it off the list.
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne Um, duh? A little boring, though. All the stories are the same after a while.
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell I read this when I was like eight and loved it, because I'm disturbed. I should probably read it again.
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown Oh my jesus, why is that on the same list as the Bible? O waow. Yeah, I tried to read the first page of that and it sucked so bad I refused to look any further.
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez Haven't read, but definitely plan to.
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving The play version of this was fucking AMAZING. I actually cried. For reals. I still haven't gotten all the way through the book, because it's sort of enormous, but it's really good.
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins Never heard of it. *adds to list*
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery *coughinanebullshitcough*
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy Ehhn. Hardy. Maybe.
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood YES YES YES YES YES YES YESSSSS. AWESOME BOOOK. MARGARET ATWOOOOD. DYSTOPIAAAAAAA. foaweijraoeriaweofaj!!
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding Read it, loved it, thought it was gay ('cause it was, yo). Incidentally, why is A Separate Peace not on here? So gay and SO AWESOME. READ IT READ IT READ IT.
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan Uhh, never heard of it. *adds to list*
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel I have no recollection of what this is about, but hell, I'll read anything once.
52 Dune - Frank Herbert A book about sand? Okay.
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons SEXUAL HEALING TIEM IS NAOW? *adds to list*
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth Wut? Fine, I'll read it.
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon Ooh, could this perhaps be some magical realism? Cool BEANS.
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens Hey, you know, I'm gonna have to at some point.
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley What is this about? I've utterly forgotten.
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon I AM SO GLAD THIS BOOK IS ON THIS LIST BECAUSE IT IS SO VERY AWESOME YAYS. *hugs main character whose name I've forgotten because, um, of his awesomeness or something AND HIS RAT AUGH*
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez Haven't read, want to.
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck Haven't read, wasn't impressed by the premise, but will probably read anyway because I have such a huge hard-on for Steinbeck. Why isn't East of Eden on this list, incidentally? SO FUCKING AWESOME HOMG.
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov I'm gonna have to read this just for the ick factor.
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt HAHA, HER NAME IS TART.
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold I'll probably read this, even though I tried reading her autobiographical novel and got really depressed by it (rape does this to me, for some reason).
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas No idea. Will read anyway.
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac His name rhymes. I really don't approve.
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy Hardyyy. Urgh but I'll try it.
68 Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding Wow, that's random.
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie Haven't read, DEFINITELY want to. I started reading The Satanic Verses, but had to return it to the library before I finished. ;___;
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville Again, started reading it, got more than halfway through, and had to give up. Too much words. Too many sentences. But I did like what I read, pretty much, except the gross parts. The gay bits were my favourites.
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens I guess. Although it's kind of silly to read a book that I already know the entire plot of.
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker Really no. Why?
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett Um, ditto.
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson Never heard of it. Will read.
75 Ulysses - James Joyce Oh god I really hope I can avoid reading this. *sobs quietly to self*
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath Oh god I fucking hate her poetry. Crazy motherfucking bitch. And her lampshades.
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome Never heard of it, but it sounds cool.
78 Germinal - Emile Zola Likewise.
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray Uhh, what is this about again?
80 Possession - AS Byatt Sure, why not.
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens Again, I know the entire plot, and it's ridiculous, so.
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell Huhh. Never heard of it.
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker Best. Fucking. Book. EVER. For serious, TO BE READING. P.S. THERE ARE LESBIANS~ IN IT~.
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro I love fucked-up Japanese books. Unless this is, like, a fake fucked-up Japanese book.
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert Oh god just no no no no NOOO.
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry Never heard of this one either.
87 Charlotte 's Web - EB White Lolwut. Sure, it was okay.
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom Never heard of it, but oh wow this one sounds awesome.
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle If one is entertained by detectives on opium, one can watch Law & Order: Criminal Intent. At least it's over quickly.
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton Ehhn? *puts on list anyway*
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad This is supposed to suck epic cock.
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery Um why.
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks Yay, bugs!
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams Fuck yeah! Ahh, my childhood. (I'm such a hippie.)
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole No but I am lawlin' like a mofo at the title.
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute *adds to list*
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas Ugh, this is one of those books that ostensibly has deep meaning and literary content but which I suspect is just about guys in stupid outfits cockblocking each other. So no.
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare Read it. Five times. Hope never to read it again, but realise this is a useless wish that will never come true ever ever ever.
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl Umm, yeah, Roald Dahl was really fucked up. The sequel was better, anyway. INKY SPACE BLOTS FOR THE WIN.
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo Sure, what the hell.
twitchdemontwitchdemon on June 30th, 2008 11:29 pm (UTC)
You enormous dorkwaffle. ♥

11. I think you mixed up Little Women with Little House on the Prairie? And Little House was a fucking bitchin' series, anyways.
22. Gatsby isn't as good as everyone makes it out to be. Maybe I just didn't get it or something, but it seemed really silly.
26. Brideshead Revisited is actually about subtle gays. I started reading it but couldn't quite get to the meat of it because I found the style incredibly boring. You can borrow it if you want, though. I'll probably take a crack at it again now that I'm adjusted to JSAMN.
39. Memoirs is really not that creepy. It's actually, like, medium-bland. It's a good beach read, though. Since you don't go to the beach.
42. Dan Brown's stuff is actually pretty exciting, as long as you ONLY READ ONE OF HIS BOOKS AND THEN NEVER ANOTHER ONE EVER AGAIN. Because they're all THE EXACT SAME BOOK.
51. Life of Pi is about a guy in a boat. Some guy in my English class in 10th grade wrote a song about it and made my teacher cry.
59. His name is Christopher. And his best friend is named Siobhan~!
64. The Lovely Bones doesn't have as much rape in it as Lucky does, IIRC. It's mostly just sad. But good!
73. You've never read THE SECRET FUCKING GARDEN? Actually, you should see the musical. It's so pretty~
88. IT'S NOT AWESOME AT ALL. It's one of those "uplifting" pseudo-self help books that my mom loves. In actuality, it is crap. It's basically hack literary masturbation.
92. IT'S ABOUT CHILD SUICIDE. It actually seemed pretty cute when I was looking to see about the suicide thing . . . and it's only like 30 pages long.

LOLOLOLOL enjoy lengthy literary commentary LOLOLOLOL.
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SCIENCE!daughtersofisis on July 2nd, 2008 03:44 am (UTC)
English class curriculum is pretty much the most ridiculous and random thing ever. Really, just wut?

THEY PUT RATS ON HIS FAAAAAAACE. Also that book bears really weird similarities to Anthem in the relationship between the lead character and his love interest. Weird.

Yeah, in Catcher in the Rye there's like . . . this scene where either a teacher or the main character nearly gropes somebody in their sleep? (Can you tell I haven't read this in forever? XD) But I know it's there.

Dude, they were already banging each other in LotF. Seriously. What else would teenage boys do?

Dude, Moby D is SO gay! I mean, a) it's got the word 'dick' in the title, and b) Ishmael and Queequeg get fucking MARRIED. For real. Like they hold hands in a bucket of spermaceti and DECLARE THEMSELVES MARRIED. There's lots of more subtexty stuff (declaring eternal love, &c.), but really, THEY GET MARRIED. It's less gay after the first 100 pages or so, though, sadly.

Sylvia Plath creeps the shit outta me. I shan't read it. *stubborn face*

Dude there are canon lesbians in The Colour Purple. Awesome canon lesbians. AND SEXUAL HEALING. I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING. LESBIAN SEXUAL HEALING. DO YOU SEE WHY YOU HAVE TO READ THIS?

Dude, that sequel kicked butt. Elevator in space! Aging powder! Or whatever that was.
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SCIENCE!daughtersofisis on July 3rd, 2008 01:17 am (UTC)
Ehnn, I dunno. I kinda feel like if you read one Ayn Rand there's no real need to read any more. It seems all a little the same. But hey, to each his own. Anthem's really short, anyhow. XD

IT WAS SO HOT. I was like eight and I read that and was like 'HOT'.

Nah, I just couldn't read any more of it at the time. Too much whales. Too much long sentences. Too much killinz. *cry cry cry*

It's a really uplifting book, too, actually. One of my top five. It changed my life (I'm so kitsch).
ayetechnovanilla on July 3rd, 2008 10:24 pm (UTC)
I am too lazy to actually do this meme, so, uh. Here. Have some comments.

HOW COULD YOU NOT LIKE 1984. I really liked it fantastic amounts, which is saying something since I read it for class.

Plus, Dickens is amazing. (Although, yeah, I've never heard of Bleak House.)

The Great Gatsby was okay. It had some good ideas in it, but otherwise it was sort of retarded.


BUT HA HA I LOVE ALICE IN WONDERLAND. That book is the shizzle, yo. Plus, being able to understand allusions in The Matrix? A++.


Read The Kite Runner. Now.


And I agree about Anne of Green Gables.



Oh man, Moby Dick. . . . We were studying that in AP Lit when our teacher died. And then I got a really nice copy when I won the book award set up in her name. Urr. yeah. (end ramble)


What were those aliens called again. I just remember them
spelling 'scram.'